


Goodbye....and Hello

by Meynara



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ....he gets better, Astral Plane Shennanigans, Canon Compliant, Gen, MCD is because Shiro's technically dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 20:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17732291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meynara/pseuds/Meynara
Summary: When Shiro died in the battle against Zarkon, he didn't expect to wake again in a different plane of existence. He certainly didn't expect to wake up in a place where the Black Lion acts like an overgrown housecat at times, or that Zarkon was still around and knew what was going on and seemed rather sane all things considered.He really hadn't expected to get used to being trapped within the Black Lion's essence, unable to do much to help his team, his family, only for things to be turned around on him.orA look at what happened while Shiro was trapped in the Astral Plane.





	Goodbye....and Hello

**Author's Note:**

  * For [enemytosleep](https://archiveofourown.org/users/enemytosleep/gifts).



The feeling of being torn apart, burning alive from the inside out as he led the other paladins in the fight against Zarkon, was one that Shiro didn’t particularly appreciate if he was being completely honest with himself. He lived in a world of constant pain, lived with the knowledge that he only had a finite time that he would live and be able to help his teammates, his family, and thus anything over that was just icing on the cake that was his life.

If he could keep his family safe, that was what mattered. And his team... _ was _ his family. Any pain he felt was momentary, and would help the others -- it was the only thing he could do, with good conscience.

So when the feeling stopped, and he felt himself surrounded by warm purring, a purring that could only come from within the Black Lion herself, he gave a small smile and let his eyes slide shut, hoping against hope that the next time he woke, it would be to a universe that had been cleansed of Zarkon’s presence.

* * *

 

When he did wake, he wasn’t sure how much time had passed. He was still feeling that warmth that came from the Black Lion, but the purring had stopped. There was no other sound, no other feeling nearby, and as he opened his eyes, he saw why.

Nothingness stretched out as far as the eye could see. Oh, there was color, and something that passed for ground beneath his feet, but there was no one else around him, nothing else around him.

It was confusing, and lonely. He could feel Black’s presence, but that was it -- he couldn’t see her, or anything else. His pain was gone, and something about that stood out in his mind.

Given what had happened the last time he was awake, there should have been  _ some  _ undercurrent of pain, of soreness still to deal with, but instead it was  **nothing** , like he was just floating, existing on clouds in a place where time passed differently from what he knew.

“Hello? Is -- is there anyone out there?” For all the fact things were almost bright and cheerful, he found the surroundings familiar, as if he’d been here before, but it was taking time for his mind to catch up with the feeling. “Can someone help me?”

The warmth he felt from his Lion intensified, trying to be comforting, but instead it seemed to cause his heart to leap in his chest as she slowly appeared before him, her height closer to his as she lay on the ground, her maw just before him.

Hand reaching out to gently press against her nose, he was hit by bursts of memory, flashes of imagery moving past so quickly he couldn’t tell where to begin to try and sort out what happened.

The cockpit of the Lion had been empty, the other Paladins, the Alteans had all taken turns going inside, trying to get her to work with thim. They all failed. 

All of them.

Until Keith stepped in, and that made his heart swell with warmth, seeing the younger man sit in Black’s seat and the controls reacting to him.

He saw flashes of battles, flashes of Keith’s pain, of the strain that was in the bond between the four now -- and the addition of Allura made the connection even more strained. Present, but strained.

Shiro had never been able to see this, but this was how Black saw everything -- Black was sharing everything he had missed, was missing, in the best way that he could. And what she shared was useful beyond belief but…

“How long have I been gone…? Have -- am I dead?” The only reassurance Shiro received was more warmth and purring from the Lion, giant metal nose bumping against him in what was hopefully a comforting fashion. “I am dead. My body gave out. I...this is not nearly as distressing as I thought it would be.”

A low, soft chuckle met his ears as he turned to see that he wasn’t alone. A familiar figure was standing before them, one large hand reaching out to gently rest on top of Black’s muzzle -- an action the mechanical feline did not protest at all, instead continuing to purr.

“Death is not quite  **normal** for those of us who bond  _ strongly  _ with our Lion,” the figure said, looking much softer, much more...full of  _ life  _ than he had in life, than what Shiro would have ever seen. “Sometimes, part of our souls linger within her quintessence. Sometimes, she seeks to protect us. Your body is indeed, dead. Your spirit, however, is whole and present and here, Paladin.”

Swallowing thickly, Shiro turned his gaze to the other, weighing the possibilities before, “Why are you here, Zarkon? And why is Black so...calm with you?”

Zarkon gave Shiro a small, sad smile. “Because I’m not wholly present, Paladin. This is only a part of me, a part that split and remained within the Lion to live on, to try and do what I could to help make up for the wrongs that the rest of myself are committing to the universe at large. It isn’t much, but I do what I can.”

Shiro frowned, looking over at Black, as if trying to get confirmation that this was correct -- but all she did was lay there, accepting the attention she was being given. (Which, in and of itself, was a confirmation of sorts.) “Is...that why she can move on her own? Because you were able to guide her?” His arms crossed over his chest, still not feeling too confident about Zarkon’s presence, but there wasn’t much he could do about that currently.

“Not entirely. Black has always had her own ability to do just what she wants, to do what she thinks is necessary.” Zarkon’s hand patted the top of her muzzle one last time before pulling back, giving his attention fully to Shiro. “But, sometimes, I have been able to guide her, yes. Not often, not for long, but when the need is there...it’s like a merging of spirits -- something I know you are  _ quite  _ familiar with.”

Silence fell over the pair for a long moment -- the only ‘sound’ disturbing it being something akin to a purr coming from Black, and that wasn’t quite the same, especially not as soft as it was in that moment. Finally, “Yeah. I am familiar with it. I just -- I wasn’t expecting to find out you’ve been here all along? What has kept you here for over ten thousand years?”

The Galra gave Shiro a confused look for a moment, and it was all he could do not to laugh at the sight. The feared Emperor of the Galra Empire, confused. (Even if this was, strictly speaking, before he was feared. It still struck Shiro as somewhat amusing.) “There is nowhere else for me to be. I’m not entirely certain how the Black Lion managed to do what she did but, I’m incomplete. Only a part of me is her--”

“I know  _ that _ ,” Shiro quickly interrupted, “you said so already, but what does that have to do with  **staying** here? Couldn’t you go and join your other part, maybe stop him that way?”

Zarkon let out a sigh. “If it were that simple, I wouldn’t be standing here right now. Whatever it is that was done, is permanent. I cannot leave...and I have tried, the expanse goes on and on, but everything looks identical, there is no way to leave, to venture into the universe itself once more. Only glimpses.”

The silence returned, settling over the two with an awkward, still air about it until Shiro let out a breath, moving to sit and lean against the Black Lion’s paw. “So that means we’re in the same boat, doesn’t it?”

He heard some shuffling before Zarkon was sitting opposite him, leaning against Black’s muzzle, not speaking but merely giving an affirmative sound.

Shiro wanted to scream.

* * *

 

Existing on the Astral Plane as they did, time was difficult to track. It could have been hours, days, weeks, even months since Shiro had arrived, and he had no way to really tell. Sometimes the Black Lion manifested herself and would sit with him, sometimes Zarkon would be there, sometimes both of them.

Most often, however, Shiro was left to his own devices with the silence that seemed to stretch on for an eternity. He did anything and everything he could to make the time passing seem less troubling -- talking to himself, exercising, trying to see how it was Zarkon had been able to see into the universe to see what was happening there, but ultimately he came up empty handed for what felt like quite some time.

Then, however, there was a tickling sort of sensation in his mind, nagging at him, as if he knew something was happening, something important. Closing his eyes, he tried once again to do what he could to see through Black’s eyes, trying to actively strengthen that bond to let him see, let him know that his team was still alive.

This time --  _ this time _ , he succeeded. And he could see through Black’s eyes, and what he saw made his heart leap for joy.

His team was alive, all of them in their armor, Pidge, Hunk, Allura, Lance. He wasn’t entirely sure why Allura was in armor, but he pushed the thought aside as he realized who he wasn’t seeing.

**_Keith_ ** . Keith was nowhere to be seen, and there was a moment where his heart raced (or it felt like it, anyway) and he feared the worst, feared that Keith was gone, forever lost to the intergalactic war they had found themselves in, but then he felt despair and anger and overwhelming grief -- but it wasn’t his own emotions he was feeling.

_ ‘Keith…? Keith, buddy, you’re -- you’re here, you’re alive, oh thank goodness.’ _ Even without a physical body, Shiro could feel tears trailing down his cheeks as the Black Lion roared, his own emotions an odd sort of mingled joy and sorrow -- joy that Keith was alive, that Keith was stepping up like he always knew his friend could…

...sorrow that Keith felt the way he did, that his own absence caused such conflict within his heart.

_ ‘I know you don’t want to do this, Keith. But you’re the best hope we have,’ _ Shiro thought, wishing he could tell Keith this himself, wishing he could give just one more hug, reassurance that things would be okay, even if it was only temporary.

“I know you wanted this, Shiro,” he heard Keith’s voice as if it was coming from inside his own head -- which, in a way, made sense given how deeply he was tangled within Black at the moment. “I know you did. You do. But I promise, I will find you, and then we’ll have the leader that’s best for the team. Just...hold on a bit longer.”

The connection between himself and the Black Lion was abruptly cut off, leaving Shiro disoriented for a long moment. When he opened his eyes, Zarkon was standing before him once more, a look of concern on his face.

“Are you--”

“I’m fine.” Quickly, Shiro turned his head away, quickly wiping at his face. “They -- there’s a new pilot for the Black Lion. My...my friend. Arguably one of my closest friends. He thinks I’m still alive.”

A low hum came from Zarkon’s throat before he shook his head. “I’m sure, with time, he will realize you are not among the living. It is good that they have found a new Paladin, however. The universe is still in need of defending.”

“I know...I know.”

* * *

 

And so, long stretches of time passed (or at least it seemed) before there was any indication of anything that was happening. The longer Shiro was there, the more he grew acquainted with the sensations that accompanied the Lions going into battle, coming together to form Voltron, occasionally feeling something akin to pain when they were hit, but the feeling would stop almost as soon as it started. Sometimes it would happen repeatedly in a short span of time, sometimes there would be long periods of time without it.

And then there was the day that the Black Lion pulled on Shiro, the sensation disorienting and painful in and of itself as he was forced to see what was happening.

He was sitting in the pilot’s seat. Except, it couldn’t be him, because he was dead. But someone identical to himself was sitting in the seat that Keith should be seated in, and both himself and Black were less than pleased by the fact. However, what he saw was not a hostile takeover as he had partially feared the moment he saw the other.

No, what he saw was a desperate man, felt the desperation blooming in his chest, in his heart, the words not quite making it to Shiro’s mind this time, but the intent was clear.

_ He wanted to save his team, nothing more nefarious than that. _

Realizing that Black was waiting for him to make a call (which was odd, shouldn’t this be her call?), Shiro took an unneeded breath, letting it out before nodding. “Let him go. The others, they need him.”

Almost immediately, the consoles began lighting up and his awareness began to fade back into himself, but not before hearing two words, almost whispered, into his mind.

_ “Thank you.” _

* * *

 

The next time anything out of the ordinary happened, Shiro felt the pull and let himself be pulled, moving with it -- moving not towards Black, but towards the space that was shared by all five Lions as they formed Voltron. His vision was blurred, however, darkened as if something was trying to prevent himself from joining the others.

By the time the connection was established, whatever needed to be done had been done, and the other Paladins were leaving. Looking towards his right, he looked for Keith, expected Keith to be there, but instead it was Lance.

This might be his only chance to speak with them, so he called out, yelling. “Lance,  _ Lance _ ! You have to tell the others, you have to warn them. The me that is out there isn’t me. You have to--”

Almost as quickly as he’d been pulled in, he was pushed out, seeing Lance’s spirit, Lance’s soul moving back towards the Red Lion, leaving Shiro feeling frustrated, even growling in his throat.

Possibly his only chance to warn the others that the one in the seat, while good intentioned, wasn’t him...was  **gone** . Clenching his fists at his sides, he yelled, venting his frustrations wordlessly into the space, not caring if Black or Zarkon heard him. His doppleganger was potentially dangerous, and they needed to know, but he had no way to tell them, n way to warn them, no way to know anything except small portions of what was happening in the universe.

It was maddening.

How had Zarkon  _ managed  _ all these years without going insane?

* * *

 

“There is still another part of me out there,” Zarkon started, standing beside Shiro as they both looked up at the sky. “I know that Lotor, my son...he destroyed the cruel, withered part of myself that was left clinging to life by his claws, however...I still feel another part of myself existing.”

Shiro hummed, having grown accustomed to the Galra’s presence finally, no longer looking at the other with suspicion as he once had. They were far from bosom buddies, but…

They were all they had.

“I wish I had that certainty you have,” Shiro finally said, shoulders slumping. “I’m still not sure who or  _ what  _ that person is that is piloting Black now, because they, they act like me? But they’re definitely not me, but I don’t feel any sort of split like you say you experienced.”

Zarkon took a moment to look over at Shiro, studying his face, the serious expression that rested there before letting out a quick breath. “I’m sure your team will be fine. They are the Paladins of Voltron, after all. Surely they will realize something is amiss, it’s only a matter of time before they do.”

Letting out a soft grunt, Shiro turned to look at Zarkon with an expression of disbelief. “Much as I wish otherwise, they’re not my team anymore. They have a new leader. I still care about them, though -- they’re still my family.”

“I know. And they’ll always be your family...just like they’ll always be your team.”

Shiro couldn’t find it in him to argue with that.

* * *

 

As he had once before, Shiro felt himself being pulled by the Black Lion, almost forced to merge with her essence, to see what was happening in the universe, see what was happening in her immediate vicinity, and what he saw would have made his heart stop if he still had a physical form.

Knowledge flooded into his mind, telling him that this was a facility for cloning, that there were clones of himself in tubes scattered and falling, and that should have bothered him more except for one detail. Keith was --  _ had been _ fighting the other him, the guy that looked and sounded and acted like him, had come here  _ specifically  _ to battle, but now,  **now** he was falling, falling from the facility and the limited atmosphere around it, and if they didn’t act -- if  **_he_ ** didn’t act -- Keith and the other would both  **die** .

The fear within him helped fuel Black, thrusters firing as they rushed forward, maw opening to scoop up the two men that were falling, keeping them from leaving the atmosphere, preventing them from dying and losing both of them because there was so much that needed to be done still, even  _ Shiro  _ knew that with his limited knowledge of what was going on beyond the inner workings of the Black Lion’s essence.

Once the two were safe, however, he found himself quickly pushed back towards the astral plane once more, disoriented for a long moment before he saw why Black had done so.

He was there. Keith was standing there, looking frightened, looking as if he expected to be attacked at any moment, and Shiro wanted nothing more than to reassure him -- but Keith couldn’t see him. Even as he called out, there was nothing of Shiro to be seen for a long moment.

(He had forgotten that he didn’t always  _ have  _ what looked to be a physical form while here, after all. Sometimes it was easier to just...exist and not have anything of himself to look at.)

Once Keith was calmed -- or somewhat calmed -- Shiro tried to explain, tried to answer the questions that Keith was bound to have, but he only managed to get the bare bones out before Keith’s presence faded, returning to the world at large, returning to consciousness, causing Shiro to curse softly.

“Should’ve known I wouldn’t get much time to talk to him,” he grumbled to himself, earning himself a vague feeling of reassurance from the Black Lion, who seemed distracted herself. Tentatively, he reached out towards her, towards her mind, trying to merge their spirits closer, trying to see through her eyes, needing to see what else was happening -- knowing that their friends were alive, but in trouble, knowing that there were so many things left unsaid, so many things that needed to be done, and he  _ needed  _ to know what was happening.

_ “Shiro, if you’re here, I could use your help. I need to get to the team before Lotor.” _

Keith’s voice came through loud and clear, leaving Shiro to push harder, needing to help his team -- his family -- needing to do more than sit on the sidelines, but it was difficult, like trying to swim through syrup while weighed down with heavy armor.

_ “Shiro, I have to get to the Paladins. I need your help.” _ Keith’s voice sounded closer, louder, clearer as Shiro reached out to him, needing to help, feeling as if this was the most important task of his existence.

And then there he was, Keith was back in the mindscape of the Black Lion, right in front of him, leaving him to place his hand on Keith’s shoulder, both to try and reassure Keith...and reassure himself, that they were there, working together to save their family one more time.

From the feel of it, perhaps for the last time.

Even as he encouraged Keith, Shiro’s thoughts made notes about the Keith he was seeing -- how much he had grown, how many things had changed, and even the fact that...really, Keith had grown so much since they met.  _ So much. _

If this was the last time they saw one another...Shiro could handle that. What worries Keith had now were practical -- he’d grown into a confident leader, and Shiro himself could rest easy knowing that.

As Keith began to fade once more, returning to the physical plane, Shiro gave him a parting gift, pushing what energy he could into Keith’s hands, giving him a boost, getting them to the team faster, with less strain.

And then, Shiro himself faded, almost as if he was falling asleep.

* * *

 

When Shiro’s awareness returned, he felt pain, he felt groggy, almost as if he was waking from a long slumber, as if he’d been put under for a medical procedure and like the medicine was still in his system. He could feel arms supporting his back, hear voices around him, if somewhat vague, trying to figure out what was going on.

It took longer than he would ever admit before he realized that he was no longer on the astral plane, that he wasn’t alone with nothing but the Black Lion and occasionally Zarkon for company.

It took even longer before he realized he was missing an arm, that the prosthetic was was gone.

And then his mind made the leap -- he was alive again. He wasn’t idly thinking about what if he saw the team again...they were here.

He was  _ there _ .

**_With_ ** **them** .

Grey eyes slammed open as his body lurched upward, taking in a deep, almost painful breath before leaning back against the arms at his back -- Keith and Allura were there, supporting him. The rest of the team was gathered around them, including faces that Shiro couldn’t remember ever meeting, but he knew them.

That was going to be confusing to figure out. It seemed as if he had two sets of memories, as if he had never left the realm of the living and instead had been captured by the Galra, had returned to the team of his own accord, had been rejected by the Black Lion until things forced her hand.

Instinctively, he reached out to connect with Black, as if looking for reassurance that this was real even though he knew it was, just needing that last little bit of knowledge that things would be as they were.

...but now, now he couldn’t feel her at all. It was as if he was completely and utterly alone, alone in a way he hadn’t been since fighting in the arena for the Galra.

Part of him wanted to panic, because that bond was purely instinctual, was something that was a part of him as much as anything else was, but the rest of him...the rest of him wanted to sleep. This being alive thing was tiring, even if he’d only really just woken.

He could figure out what was going on later. Right then, as he closed his eyes once more, he took comfort in the fact that he was with his family once more. As long as he had that, he could work around anything else.

It was good to be alive.


End file.
